8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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