Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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