it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
this must be what syphilis tastes like
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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