I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just pee around me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
