Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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