I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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