woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
