did you get engaged???
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
