New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize