all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize