i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize