Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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