I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I could make wine with my vomit
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
