I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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