Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌ðŸ»ï¸
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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