just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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