It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
