Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
