He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
