I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
