Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Randomize
