Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize