i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
