Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
