I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
