i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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