Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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