I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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