Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
