Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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