I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
there was a trapeze. enough said
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
