I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
