Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
