Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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