perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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