nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Such a big mess for such a small penis
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
