i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
