Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
