when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
