you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just found puke in my bra..
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
