Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize