Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
