Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
