How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
