her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
