Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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