He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
