Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
