$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
