Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
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