I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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