why didn't you poke me back
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
