i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
