I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
