Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Success! We fucked roommates!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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