i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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