i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
