Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
