but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize