dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
