I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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