I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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